After posting my review on the Fifty Shades Trilogy, I was amused to find that variations of the book have already hit the net.
Fifty Shades of Chav is fast becoming the most popular alternative version, with its lead character Wayne offering a more down to earth persona for velour-loving readers to identify with.
I then came across a version that is far more up my street.
Fifty Shades of Greek.
I just had to share. Enjoy:
Spyros had just turned up outside my home in his brand new shiny silver Merc paid for by his parents for achieving a grade D & a grade E in his A-levels, it was the cheaper left hand drive version, Pitbull was playing loud on the stereo. He had so much gel in his hair he looked like a Greek God who was soaking wet after a swim in the warm polluted Mediterranean sea. He slapped my big bum as he walked in & gave me a cheesy wink, anyone else would have thrown up at this point but I loved it. He looked at his fake Rolex & asked for a Turkish coffee, I obliged as I knew my place. He took one taste then slapped me across the face as his coffee was too cold for his liking, fair point I thought so I made him another with a smile on my face. His grey chest hairs were popping through his faded Versace teeshirt which added to his mystique & his tight stonewash Armani jeans were too short for him but I didn’t mind. One hour & 4 Rothmans later I accidentally stood on his long pointed brown shoes (no socks) which resulted in another slap across my already painful face, this turned him on & with much anger he grabbed me & threw me on to the bed, I tried to look at him lovingly but the sun’s rays were reflecting off his jewellery & I couldn’t see a thing for a few seconds & then I noticed a new tattoo, it read ‘this is sparta’, nice I thought. He soon got bored & with that he said see you later Eleni & drove off to Ayia Napa to cheat on me once again with a tourist but I knew in my heart he would return to me in the autumn after the tourist season ended.
I can’t wait for the next extract!