50th Post! – Fifty ways to make a Greek man happy (Rated U)

50th Post! – Fifty ways to make a Greek man happy (Rated U)

Well I have finally managed to get to my 50th post since starting my blog way back in 2012. OPA!

In celebration I have decided to educate you all in how to make/keep a Greek man happy in fifty ways. Some of you may not want to make your Greek man happy and even I can’t be bothered at times, but still, when in doubt it is good to have something to refer to.

The following list is non-exhaustive so please feel free to comment and add your own:

  1. Be a woman – all a Greek man secretly wants/needs is a woman who can look after him and cook his meals – so forget all that rubbish about “equality” and bin your suffragette sash.
  2. Regularly tell him that he is wiser than Zeus and more handsome than Hercules.
  3. Be deeply involved with his family – this doesn’t mean just visiting your in-laws on the rare occasion, this means seeing them everyday for at least 3 hours.
  4. Cook for him wherever and whenever he needs food.
  5. Cook for his family when they visit.
  6. Cook for the dog.
  7. Take part in activities that he likes e.g. visiting his relatives.
  8. Listen actively – all Greek men like to think that their voice is being heard, even if you have secretly stuffed cotton wool in your ears.
  9. Buy him his favourite aftershave.
  10. Buy him a Rolex.
  11. Buy him a Mercedes.
  12. Buy him something so expensive that you become bankrupt.
  13. Be the perfect hostess when he invites family/friends round unexpectedly, even when you are in your pyjamas ready for bed.
  14. Never go to bed early unless he does – you’ve got cleaning to do.
  15. Make sure you always look happy – a grumpy wife does not a happy husband make.
  16. Make him laugh – even if he is laughing AT you rather than WITH you.
  17. Don’t ask him to look after the children – that is a woman’s job.
  18. Let him have the TV remote – you shouldn’t be watching TV anyway, you should be in the kitchen cooking his meal.
  19. Appreciate his interests and praise his efforts – this will give him a feeling of pride.
  20. Give him regular massages, particularly if he has had a hard day at work. (The dinner should be prepared in advance).
  21. Don’t moan when he wants to have a night out with his fellow gang of Greeks – even though you haven’t been allowed out since you met him.
  22. Take care of your appearance but don’t overdo it – you don’t want to be accused of deliberately trying to tempt other men.
  23. Greet your man at the door when he comes home from work – obviously this won’t be easy if you finish work later than he does.
  24. Always agree with your man’s opinion when discussing topics with friends – you are of one mind – HIS mind.
  25. Regularly compliment your man – make sure that you at least appear sincere.
  26. Avoid comments that threaten his ego e.g. “You look fat” should become “Shall I cook you something healthy tonight dear?”
  27. Pursue an interest together – like washing his car. WARNING: DO NOT drive his car!!
  28. Remind your man that no-one else will ever compare to him – this is probably true, for no-one quite compares to a Greek man (sarcasm intended).
  29. Never question his judgement/knowledge – he is a man AND a Greek and is therefore omniscient.
  30. Show him physical affection from time to time, once all your other chores are done.
  31. Make a fuss over him when he is ‘ill’ – he may pretend to be big and strong but deep down he is just as vulnerable as a child.
  32. Show him you need him and don’t attack his masculinity – even though it is quite obvious that you could easily do his job and more – a Greek man has to feel like he is the head of the house.
  33. Listen to his needs – he may have many of them so ensure that the dinner is ready before you ask him.
  34. Give him space – he needs time alone to watch Wheeler Dealers – use this time wisely, while he is distracted you can scoff the last Baklava.
  35. Remain calm during arguments and attempt to divert his attention with a food offering.
  36. Show the man some RESPECT – let him have his say, but on the quiet do your own thing.
  37. Learn the Greek language – even if it is just the basics so you will know what he is calling you…
  38. Let him have plenty of alone time with his car – you cannot keep a Greek man from his auto-mistress.
  39. Be spontaneous – surprise him with an extra helping of Moussaka.
  40. Don’t make fun of him – Greek men are easily offended.
  41. Don’t make fun of his relatives.
  42. Attempt to show that you are religious – to please the relatives.
  43. Try not to nag too much – it will remind him of his mother.
  44. Try to look pleased to see him – even when you’ve spent the whole day planning your revenge after he criticised your dinner/appearance/opinion the night before.
  45. Keep your house tidy – Greek men are very fussy and expect their living environment to be clean – you are the housewife so it is your job.
  46. Show your support – try to encourage and motivate him even when his ideas could land him in a mental asylum and/or jail – most Greek men are all talk and little action, so rather than cutting him down, be positive about his plans to open up a lapdancing club – it probably won’t happen.
  47. Share his dreams – see above.
  48. Learn to play Tavli (Greek Backgammon) but make sure he always wins.
  49. Did I mention the Rolex?
  50. BE HAPPY YOURSELF!

So there you have it. Basically the solution to making/keeping your Greek man happy is to attend to his every need, make sure he is well fed and ensure that he always feels that his opinion is heard and valued. Oh and don’t complain about it. Simple!

P.S. Yes that is a photograph of my father in his younger years, wearing Greek traditional dress and looking like a very smug, happy Greek man. My mother has since seen to that.

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52 Comments

  1. Sandra
    20th February 2017 / 5:59 pm

    Hi, I’m Mexican and I have a date tomorrow with a Greek/American guy who seems awesome but after reading your post a few things ring the bell, I’m officially freaked out 🙁 Alpha vs Alpha… Wish me luck!

    • Ekaterina
      20th February 2017 / 6:07 pm

      Haha!! It will be fine! Just smash a few plates to break the ice… good luck!! 🙂

  2. marilyn
    12th February 2017 / 4:17 am

    I’m a Australian lady who just met a Greek man. I’m not sure what to expect with this friendship. Can anyone give me some advice?

    • Ekaterina
      12th February 2017 / 8:16 pm

      Thank you for your comment – this post is very stereotypical and obviously everyone is different! I’m sure the man you have met is nervous as well – so just go with the flow. If you want more information about Greek traditions such as marriage (!) check out http://www.thegreekwivesclub.com

  3. Ana
    9th July 2016 / 5:13 pm

    Ha! My men is greek we are together 7 years Im spanish girl from south america i know how they are lol if u guys has any question or concern just watch my fat greek wedding is exactly !!

  4. Lady
    9th July 2016 / 5:01 pm

    OMG. I have a greek friend and i am planning to date him. Shall i? Now im bothered….

    • Ekaterina
      9th July 2016 / 5:02 pm

      Haha take it all with a pinch of salt!…or oregano…

  5. ana
    12th January 2016 / 8:20 pm

    Haha im spanish i live with a greek guy for 7 years im 36 he is 35 and he is not easy! I dont want to be married mom is a pain in the ….lol but we still together we love each other.

    • Ekaterina
      13th January 2016 / 7:11 am

      Ah those Greek mums! 😉

  6. Michal
    2nd January 2016 / 1:24 am

    Brilliant!! Finally I’ve had all my confusion validated! After 7 years I’m completely exhausted and now I know why!
    You are a life saver !
    I’m married to a greek but I’m not greek.
    I loved all your points they are so true.
    I need a poster of this on my fridge so I remind myself how to behave to keep the peice!
    Michal

    • Michal
      2nd January 2016 / 1:26 am

      I mean peace and my self I one piece

      • Pauline
        4th January 2016 / 1:36 am

        I’ve just started dating one, learning quickly

    • Ekaterina
      2nd January 2016 / 8:13 am

      Haha glad you liked them! 😉

  7. sunny
    31st May 2015 / 12:19 pm

    It’s true. They’re playboy. 2years with greek boy is a really hard work. 🙁

  8. Gloria
    21st March 2015 / 6:55 am

    I want to learn everything to please my Greek man!.

    • 21st March 2015 / 11:22 am

      I hope he pleases you too!

  9. Helen
    24th October 2014 / 11:26 am

    you forgot to emphasize how a Greek man’s ego is more fragile than the wings of the daintiest butterfly!

  10. Helen
    13th August 2014 / 6:10 am

    In other words, live a miserable life so that he can feel secure and happy!

  11. 26th June 2014 / 12:15 am

    *Muttering* Cook for the damned dog.
    And look good – but not too good.
    We’re darned if we do and darned if we don’t, we women.

  12. DK
    24th June 2014 / 9:04 pm

    OMG, it’s so funny…. and so true!!!! I started to date my Greek God an year ago… Now everything makes perfect sense…. We even washed his car, just last Sunday…. LOL And I just shared this on my FB page…. God, show me some mercy…. I just couldn’t resist…. :-)))

    • 24th June 2014 / 9:06 pm

      Haha glad you enjoyed it – my book goes into even more detail about how to survive life with a Greek God if you need more advice! 😉

  13. 23rd June 2014 / 8:22 am

    I really think this list applies to all men, no matter where they’re from!
    Well done! 🙂

    • 23rd June 2014 / 8:29 am

      Haha thank you Barbara! It’s just a bit of light-hearted fun…but it has so much truth to it! 😉

  14. kristin
    21st May 2014 / 4:39 am

    every sentence is TRUE! Over the course of 2 years with my Greek boyfriend, I have crossed off every item. How infuriating!! I am not cut out for this Greek man!!

    • 21st May 2014 / 8:05 am

      Haha! People still accuse me of making all this up but it’s all true!

  15. Aura Carmen Slate
    20th November 2013 / 7:00 pm

    γεια σου!
    I looove your blog! While reading the post I was thinking about my mon doing all the 50 things to keep my quarter greek father happy!
    Regards, Carmen

    • 20th November 2013 / 7:12 pm

      Ah great stuff!! I hope he’s happy! 🙂

  16. Wendy
    6th November 2013 / 12:02 am

    Fantastic….love every single one of them.
    I live with a greek man and thank god he’s not from Greec but actually were born here (Adelaide). Some things are the same with the list but others are quite the opposite, such as, he can & will cook for me if I’m tired (or some how he’s gotta eat, right?), clean the house, happy for me to drive his car (I won’t cos its manual, I’m a bit of a klutz) etc…
    It had been a very enjoyable read! Good luck with everything and thank you. Regards, Wendy

    • 6th November 2013 / 9:22 am

      Thank you Wendy! Your man sounds like a gem! You’ve clearly trained him well 🙂

  17. janet legsssie
    5th November 2013 / 4:54 am

    I got it into my head recently that I wanted to marry a greek man. I went to Greece last nov
    And fell in love with the pple. Then I went to a Greek festival this weekend. But after reading your 50 things to make greek men happy I think ill pass. Im to old 57 to do all that.

    • 5th November 2013 / 9:28 am

      57 is not old Janet! And you don’t need to do all 50 things to keep them happy – 49 will do! 🙂

  18. 23rd October 2013 / 8:52 am

    You make it sound so tempting! And then there’s the frilly skirt. To think I just went to Greece and forgot to bring one home (but then, there’s plenty here in Oz, after all).

    • 23rd October 2013 / 8:54 am

      Haha! Oh the frilly skirts!

  19. Yanna
    20th October 2013 / 6:58 am

    Lol, I find it somehow true. Fascination on Cars. And once i made fun of him, and his mood suddenly changed and he was really offended! 🙂

    • 20th October 2013 / 9:01 am

      Haha yep all true!! But we still love them!

  20. 19th August 2013 / 1:38 pm

    Hey, how are you? And your acting? Thank you so much for your support on my blog. 🙂

    • 19th August 2013 / 1:40 pm

      Very good thank you – your blog is great! Always a pleasure to read 🙂

  21. 7th August 2013 / 3:23 am

    Stereotypical, but true,

  22. 8th July 2013 / 8:35 am

    Sounds near impossible, a case of “Eye Candy” for me, then, look but don’t touch 🙂 However, you have made me very happy with your review of The Silver Cross – sold three books since then!

  23. 23rd April 2013 / 8:33 am

    Love this. I checked off quite a few – and my bloke’s American. 🙂

    • 23rd April 2013 / 8:34 am

      They’re all the same!

  24. 31st January 2013 / 7:19 pm

    ha! My father, on my wedding night, advised me that the secret to a happy marriage is to always wear lipstick and to look nice when my husband gets home from work – no jeans. And then my mother rolled her eyes.

  25. 30th January 2013 / 8:06 pm

    My American spouse is not much different from a Greek man! Great post, my favorite one is #27. If I drove his car he would sell it and buy a new one, LOL!

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